PATS or GENOS

25+ years of friendship. One quarter-century of bad draft picks. Pick a side — there ain't a wrong steak, only wrong owners.

The JAC Photos — a quarter century of Bird Gang tailgates, from the Vet to the Linc.

The All-Time Dynasty Board

Ranked by Dynasty Score — built only from what's real: championships, all-time win %, and points scored over 25+ years. Click any column to sort. Six rings don't always mean the best record… right, Data Input?

The Draft Archive (2015–2025)

Who actually drafted whom, year by year — keepers and top picks straight off the boards. Sort it, filter it, search for that one pick your buddy will never live down. The green Champion tag marks who won it all that year.

The House Rules (abridged, for youse with short attention spans)

🥩 The Two Divisions

PATS: Data Input, #GRINDADED, Chappy, Pickles' Platter, i no longer have a Chubb.

GENOS: ASSMAN, Delp, GENO, Commish, Smiccio.

💰 Where the Money Goes

$350 a franchise. After $350 to the Super Bowl loser (lol): 40% Super Bowl Champ, 20% each Division Champ, 20% Regular-Season Points Leader.

👑 Dynasty

Keep 2–4 players. Keepers locked 24 hrs before the draft. 17 rounds, two minutes a pick, then a $2-a-head supplemental.

🚽 The Toilet Bowl

Last place in each division throws hands in Week 15. Winner gets the 1.01 next year. Loser gets stuck as Co-Commissioner. Brutal.

📅 The Draft

Rotates Labor Day / non-Labor Day weekends. Held in Bucks County at least once every two years. Miss it in person two years running? $300 fine.

🤝 Trade Deadline

8pm Wednesday before Week 13. You can trade transaction fees — not cash, and not women 🛒. (Their words. It's in the Constitution.)

🏆 The Hall of Fame

Data Input leads with 6 rings (2000, '03, '04, '10, '15, '22). A logjam at 4: #GRINDADED, Pickles' Platter & ASSMAN. Delp & Smiccio have 2; Chappy ('05), GENO ('13), Commish ('16) & i no longer have a Chubb ('20) each have 1. All 26 seasons accounted for.

How the Dynasty Score works

It's built only from stuff that's real and from this league: championships (the big one — 55%), all-time win % (30%), and all-time points scored (15%), each measured against the other nine franchises and scaled to a 0–100 score. Note: the per-player "fantasy points" printed on the CBS draft boards are generic, outside-the-league estimates — not our scoring — so they're deliberately left out of every ranking. The Draft Archive is exactly that: the record of who drafted whom. Don't like the math? Pass a rule change by majority vote, just like the Constitution says.